She Deserves The World
by YlolamarieD
Summary: Season 3 Post Finale: Olivia and Jake must confront the things that keep them from finding, and keeping love. Olivia confronts her issues with self worth, and Jake must face his past. A past that is closely tied to the French Polynesian Islands. (Follow up to Proximity.)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The first thing he noticed when he stepped off the plane was the smell. The metallic bite of ocean air had always smelled like freedom to Jake, and after sixteen hours spent breathing the recycled circumscription that passed for air on the plane, the smell of freedom was intoxicating. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and was hit with a wave of memories; running barefoot in the sand, catching dinner while floating listlessly in a beaten up dinghy. The sun was bright and the air was warm, and suddenly the travel friendly jeans and t-shirt he was wearing seemed stifling and out of place. He turned his head and took in the uninterrupted panoramic view of the sparkling turquoise waters surrounding the island airport and smiled. Jake Ballard was finally home.

An exasperated sigh from his travel companion drew him out of his reverie. Olivia Pope had just exited the plane and was struggling with her coat and bag. She looked hot and uncomfortable. Her hair was already starting to curl in the humid, tropical air. He couldn't believe she was actually here with him. When the plane took off, Jake was sure that she was going to change her mind about wanting to get away. She had done her best to hide it, but he could tell that she was anxious and unsure. On the outside, she was poised and composed, but her eyes had danced with insecurity and fear. There was a small part of him that hurt every time he saw that look in her eyes. She had experienced more than her fair share of heartache in life and as a result, she didn't have a lot of faith in the goodness of people. That made him want to pull her close and reassure her that he was different. He wanted to reassure her that not everyone was out to cause her pain. Instead, he gave her space, because he knew she didn't want that. He also knew that trusting someone wasn't something Olivia did easily and he was no exception. He hated that she didn't trust him. She said that she did, but Jake knew that his actions caused him to be lumped in with the group of demons she was trying desperately to out run. The only thing that made him believe that she could learn to trust him again, was her choice to run away with him. They were both getting a chance at a do over in life, and Jake was determined to get this right.

When that call came in from the White House, he expected her to turn herself inside out, yet again, to accommodate the ill fit of a life that she had long since outgrown. He was surprised when she held her ground and rejected the phone call. He was even more surprised when she turned those big brown eyes on him, and kissed him. It was an open kiss that left no where for them to hid from their feelings for each other. And even when Jake tried to pull away from her, she wouldn't let him go. So he stayed, and he took everything she was willing to give. Jake cherished the kisses she gave him, because she wasn't often generous with her affections. At least not when it came to him.

And still, he couldn't walk away from her. He said he was going to walk away from her, and actually managed to take a few steps. But the moment she called, he was right there by her side, each and every time. He was pretending to be her boyfriend, or he was giving her information he had no business divulging. He was keeping tabs on her father, tracking down her mother. Whatever she needed, he was willing to give. Until finally, he was in her apartment, standing amongst boxes filled with all the memories she was trying to forget, asking her not to be put away with the rest. And then, it was her turn to give.

So Jake got some boxes of his own, and shipped his memories off to someone he trusted to handle them with care. Then he grabbed her hand, and together, they ran. Now, one private jet and sixteen in flight hours hours away from all of the mess they'd been tasked to clean, Jake found himself staring at a cranky, travel worn, uncomfortable looking Olivia Pope. "Here, let me." He crossed the short distance between them and took her coat and bag. She gave him a grateful smile, then turned to take in the scene around her.

"Oh, wow. Jake, this is beautiful." He watched her scan the horizon with a look of awe on her face, and almost envied her experience. French Polynesia was the place that people imagined when they thought of paradise, and watching Olivia experience the fantasy become reality was a sight to behold.

"This is Tahiti."

"Pape'ete, I've always wanted to come here."

Jake gave Olivia an appreciative nod. Not everyone was able to name the capital city of Tahiti off the top of their head. "Moonlighting as a geography teacher Ms. Pope?"

"I will have you know, Captain Ballard, that geography was one of my favorite subjects at that fancy boarding school I attended. Name a place, I'll tell you it's capital," Olivia said with a tilted head and a smirk.

Jake laughed, "Is that so?"

Olivia nodded, "Official US Geography Olympiad, ranked first in the Varsity Division. Thank you very much."

Jake tilted his head to match hers and exhaled, effectively suppressing the laughter that was building inside of him. "So let me get this straight, you're a Gladiator and an Olympiad?"

Olivia shot him a look of mock disdain. "Yes, that's right. Do you have a problem with that?"

"You're such a nerd." This time, Jake allowed the laughter he was holding in to break through. Olivia raised her hand and gave him a playful smack to his chest. "Ow," he joked, "There's no need for violence. I happen to like nerds, I'll have you know."

Olivia's look softened, "Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. So take it easy on me, please." After a moment of exaggerated contemplation, Olivia nodded her concession and Jake smiled. The Island air was already having an effect on her. She was playful and teasing and it pleased him to see her acting so carefree. He also took pleasure in knowing that he helped to bring about this new, carefree Olivia Pope. "I didn't know that you've always wanted to come here. I guess I chose wisely?"

Olivia turned to admire the ocean view once more. Jake watched as as she took a deep breath and tilted her face toward the healing warmth of the island sun. When she spoke, her voice was quiet and calm. "Yes, I would say that you did."

Jake exhaled a huge sigh of relief. Choosing to bring her to Tahiti was a risky move. He had taken her away from her life, and there was no guaranteeing that she would be happy so far away from DC. It was his job to read people, and he was good at his job, but at some point he lost his ability to read her. Or, so he thought. He was pleased to discover that Olivia had thought of visiting this remote island. Her affinity for a place that was so close to him, made him feel closer to her for some reason. "Well, I'm happy that you're happy. But unfortunately, we won't be staying here for long."

She turned to face him and gave him a look of shock. "What do you mean we won't be staying here? This place is a dream."

Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Being this close to her for an extended period of time was a new experience for him, and Jake was doing his best to adjust. She had this ability to derail his train of thought with nothing more than a look, and the look she was giving him at that moment caused all rational thought to fly off into the ocean breeze. Her mouth was open. It wasn't gaping, but she didn't have on sunglasses, and she was squinting in the bright sunlight, and her mouth was open. Jake thought she had never looked more adorable, and he wanted to kiss her. "Absolutely perfect," he commented.

His eyes traveled over her lips then slowly rose to meet her stare. She was no longer squinting and her eyes were searching for an answer to her question. She raised her hand to place it on his chest, and his eyes followed her movement before settling again on her face. "Where are we going?" she asked. This time he saw a hint of desire hidden in her hooded gaze. Just like that the air between them had changed, and Jake found himself leaning in to brush his lips against hers.

"_La Orana_." The sound of a booming male voice speaking a Tahitian greeting caused Olivia to flinch and step away from him, interrupting the kiss before their lips made contact. Jake turned and was happy to see a familiar face walking toward him. He lowered the bags he was holding to the ground and handed Olivia her coat before turning to greet the man who was now extending his hand in welcome.

"_La Orana_," Jake shook hands with the man, then pulled him into a hug. "It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has my friend."

The two men separated and the newcomer turned and acknowledged Olivia for the first time. Jake noticed how Peter's eyes swept over Olivia's body with an appreciative ease. Peter had always been a bit of a ladies man, so Jake wasn't surprised that Olivia's beauty had not gone unnoticed. Peter turned and spoke to Jake. "_Est-ce son?_"

Jake looked at Olivia, who raised an eyebrow at him in return. He stifled his laughter, because he knew Olivia was trying very hard to resist inserting herself into the conversation. Her chin raised and her spine stiffened with the posture of a Washington, DC high roller. Jake could see that she was all business. He gave her a shrug before turning his attention back to Peter, "_Oui, c'est elle._"

Peter's eyes grew wide with approval before responding, "_Elle est très belle._"

Olivia cleared her throat before she spoke. "_Merci beaucoup_. But, _she_ has a name," extending her hand, she introduced herself, "Olivia Pope. _Et vous_?"

Peter turned and gave Jake a wide eyed stare, "Who am I? Jake, you didn't tell her about me? I'm offended." He took Olivia's hand in his and turned it before bowing slightly and placing a kiss on the back of her hand. "Peter Mauu, Ms. Pope. It is a honor to make your acquaintance."

Olivia laughed and removed her hand from Peter's grasp. "You're quite the Lothario Mr. Mauu."

"I am indeed, Ms. Pope, but please, call me Pete," he responded with a wink.

"Okay, Pete. The pleasure is mine." Olivia gave Pete her full Olivia Pope smile. It was the smile she used to dazzle people, her defense mechanism when she needed distance to assess the situation.

"He has a big mouth," Jake interjected, "but he's harmless. Pete is an old friend of mine."

"An old friend?" Peter scoffed and placed a hand over his heart. "Now, I'm really hurt. We're practically family." He turned to Olivia who gave him a look of surprise. "His family has been coming here since we were kids. I've known this fool practically all my life." Olivia's eyes were wide with shock as she glanced back and forth between the two men. Jake's eyes were focused on Pete who clapped him hard on the back before turning back to Olivia. "What, Jake didn't tell you any of this?"

Olivia narrowed her gaze on Jake. "No he didn't. Jake has told me surprisingly little, actually."

Jake laughed uncomfortably and cleared his throat before speaking. "Yeah well, we'll have plenty of time to catch up when we get to where we're going."

"Which is where exactly?"

Jake groaned inwardly. Her tone was becoming harsher with every bit of new information she received, and he was hesitant to say another word. He knew bringing her here would mean answering a lot of questions. Though he had nothing to hide, in his mind he was still an agent of B-613. An enigma. Invisible. She was also the first person to ever get to him know him this intimately, which made sharing more difficult than he originally thought it would be. "Maupiti. It's an island about one hour from here by boat. We'll be staying in Vaiea, a little village there."

"The house is stocked, just like you asked. Although, if you need anything else you should get it while we're still in Pape'ete. There isn't much shopping in Vaiea.

Olivia's eyes flashed with that fearful, insecure look and Jake flinched inside. He knew that look, he hated that look. She was hurt. The look didn't last for long because Olivia Pope was very good at wearing a mask, almost as good as him. "Thanks Pete. Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure. I'll see about loading the boat." Peter nodded to Olivia before picking up their carry-on bags and excusing himself so they could talk.

"House? I thought... "

Jake sighed. "Yes, house. My house. My family has a house here. It belonged to my mother's family, actually. You know it's a really long story." Jake looked down at his feet used his fingers to apply pressure to the bridge of his nose. He was acting like an idiot, just like he always did when pressed for information about his family. He wasn't sure if it was his rocky childhood, his B-613 training, or some combination of the two. But whenever he had to talk about his family, he lost his ability to communicate "I wasn't trying to keep it from you. I mean obviously, I brought you here. So I'm not trying to hide anything. It's just…"

"Complicated?"

Jake nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"It's ok Jake, I just wasn't expecting complicated. I thought I was leaving complicated in DC."

"Liv…"

"No, Jake, really. It's ok. I'm actually touched that you brought me here. Obviously this is more than just a pretty place to you. I'm just realizing how much there is that I don't know about you."

Jake was just about to reach for her hand when Peter's soaring baritone interrupted their moment for the second time since his arrival. "The crew loaded your luggage onto the boat, so unless you want to go into the city, we're all set to go."

Jake withdrew his hand and Olivia stepped out of his reach. He tried to meet her eyes, but she had turned her attention toward Pete and wouldn't look at him. He sighed with frustration and ran his fingers through his tousled hair. She was putting up walls. It seemed to Jake that every time he took a step forward in his relationship with Olivia, he ended up taking three steps back. He was happy that she was here with him, and secretly hoped that this time spent alone together would bring them closer. He was beginning to believe, however, that anything more than friendship was just not in the cards for them. "I think Olivia and I are both pretty tired Pete. Why don't we head to the house and get settled in?" He turned to Olivia who was looking in his direction but wouldn't meet his eyes. "We can see what we're working with once we get there and make a trip back to the city in a few days, if we need to. Let's head out."

Olivia nodded, and the group began to cross the short distance to the water's edge where their boat was waiting. The stress of travel was finally catching up to Jake, and he wanted nothing more than to put his feet up and relax. He didn't want to think or talk. He just wanted to stop and take a moment to breathe. He had experienced so much within the past year. Between him becoming command and then losing his position, the things he'd seen, done; James. Jake was so far turned around he felt like he couldn't figure out where he was headed. He had asked Olivia to save him, but he knew that he had to be the one to save himself. So, he decided to come home, not the home of his youth, where he lived in a suburban fantasy land. His real home. The only place where Jake ever felt like he was in control, and free of expectation.

"Jake, I almost forgot to tell you that Ana is on the island."

Jake stopped walking and gave an uncomfortable laugh. Both Peter and Olivia stopped and gave him looks of confusion. He looked from one face to the other and smiled weakly, "Ana is here? That's incredible. Since when?"

"She got here a few days ago. She uh..." Pete looked from Jake to Olivia, then back again for continuing, "She needed to get out of Hawaii and I needed some help with Dad, so she came home."

"Ana?" Olivia questioned.

"Pete's sister," Jake clarified.

"She and Jake were attached at the hip when we were kids. Best friends, those two. It's funny that she's here at the same time you are Jay. But then again, you guys always traveled on similar wavelengths."

"Yeah, I guess we did," Jake replied. The group started walking again and Jake fell into a contemplative silence. He was shocked to hear that Ana was on the island. The last time he saw her they were both eighteen and heading out into the world in different directions. He was joining the Navy, as per his father's request. Her father expected her stay on the island and live a traditional life. She had chosen instead to follow her own path. They kept in touch for a while, but like with many friendships, time robbed them of their connection and communication slowed, eventually stopping altogether. He remembered receiving an invite to her wedding, and a photo announcing the birth of her first child. But all of that came through Pete, who in many ways was becoming his own version of a family historian, maintaining the fragile ties that bind. _It will be nice to see her again, _Jake thought to himself. He ran his hand over the back of his neck and swallowed hard to removed the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat.

Once they were on the boat and moving toward their destination, Jake contemplated the vanishing Tahitian landscape. Soon he would be alone on a tiny island, in a small house, with the woman who had been invading his thoughts since the moment he'd laid eyes on her. She was broken and afraid, and he wasn't sure he knew how to help her heal; he wasn't sure he knew how to help himself either. But, he made a choice. And whether is was the right choice or the wrong choice remained to be seen. All he could do now was focus on moving forward and pray to some higher power, one he wasn't even sure really existed, that he was doing the right thing. He simply couldn't bare to think of the consequences if he had chosen poorly.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He was whistling. She couldn't place the tune, but the notes danced through the balmy air with a casual ease. He had started whistling about five minutes ago. She was in her bed. It was a surprisingly comfortable bed, and she was trying to find a reason to get up and face the day. So far, everything on her list seemed to be encouraging her to stay right where she was. She had just pulled the blanket up over her head and decided to count the day as a loss when she heard him whistle. It was driving her crazy.

Olivia threw back the blanket and sat up with a grunt. She looked around the room and couldn't help but be impressed with it's decor. The room was small but it was bright and open. She was exhausted by the time they arrived at Jake's house last night, and she wanted nothing more than a firm mattress and a soft pillow. She was alert enough to take in the open floor plan and the sparse design, but not aware enough to form any real opinions about the place. Now with the bright sun shining through the sheer white curtains of the bay window in her room, she could see that Jake kept a really beautiful home. She could remember Jake telling her that the house had central air but that she probably wouldn't need it. He insisted that she open her window and let the large blades of the ceiling fan work their magic. She of course, resisted, but begrudgingly did as he said. It killed her to admit that he was right. The tropical air had cooled down drastically at night, aided by the crisp salty breeze coming in through the window. Luckily, Jake had left a few extra blankets for her in case she needed them. She contemplated spending the night shivering and regretting her choice of skimpy pajamas just to spite him. Eventually her need for warmth won out and she gave in. She slept so well that she almost felt a little guilty this morning for indulging in her surly. Almost.

Deciding to go away with Jake was impulsive. She had given him complete control. Allowing him to make all the travel plans was reckless, and completely out of character for her. She was infuriated when his only order came as a request for her to "pack light." The old Olivia would have demanded to know where he was taking her. She would have insisted on choosing the destination, along with the travel route and the accommodations. The new Olivia was washing her hands of responsibility. The new Olivia threw the only pair of jeans she owned into a bag, along with her favorite cashmere wrap and some bare necessities, and hopped onto a jet with a man who wasn't quite a lover, and wasn't quite a friend. She was going to trust someone else to make all the decisions for a while. Choosing Jake to be the one she trusted was both terrifying and thrilling. When Olivia sat on that plane and kissed him, it was because she was high on hope. She had no clue where she was going and she didn't care. By the time they arrived in Tahiti, she was so beguiled by the Captain. She had allowed herself to believe that this time alone with him could be the beginning of something real for them.

She thought they'd spend this time lounging around at a fancy resort sipping coconut drinks through tiny straws. She would challenge him to a swimming races in the ocean, and he'd actually try to beat hear. After she won, they would collapse, exhausted, on a warm sandy beach. The sun would announced it's decent by painting the sky in vibrant colors and ushering in a night of a billion stars. She foolishly thought they would be doing this fluffy romantic nonsense, alone. It never occurred to her that she would end up in the middle of the ocean, in Jake's home, preparing to meet people he considered to be his family. The discovery of Peter and Ana created a dark cloud of doubt that came in and settled quite comfortably over her head. She suddenly felt uncertain and afraid, and very far away from being the Olivia Pope that she remembered herself to be. The fear and insecurity had crushed her hopeful spirit and now, she was questioning everything; especially the stranger she had chosen as her travel companion.

It pained her to call Jake a stranger but she didn't know how else to think of him. She knew that he wasn't an angel. Olivia was well aware of how cold and ruthless Jake could be. He was a trained killer, and a very powerful one at that. She knew that Jake had done bad things to good people. She didn't like it, but she could accept it. Her gut told her that Jake was one of the good guys. He had become the person who she turned to when she needed someone in her corner. Obviously she needed someone now. She wasn't happy to discover the she has tied herself to someone who was, yet again, less than forthcoming with the truth.

She was beguiled no more and bothered beyond measure. She didn't want to face him. Somewhere between DC and Tahiti, Olivia discovered that she had feelings for Jake. She wasn't happy about it. _Why is it,_ Olivia thought to herself, _that I constantly set myself up to fail? _It was the same question she's been asking herself since she woke up that morning. She couldn't seem to come up with a suitable answer. Jake's incessant whistling was the final push she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. She used her vexation as motivation and swung her legs out of bed. She placed her feet on the dark hardwood floor, and with a sigh of frustration, finally stood up and pushed herself out of bed.

The floor was cold against her feet. When the cool morning breeze swept in through the window, the bare skin of Olivia's arms and legs pebbled in goose bumps. She shivered and thought momentarily about putting on the robe she brought with her, but she hadn't yet unpacked and didn't feel up to rooting through her bags to find it. Jake was still whistling and being out of bed hadn't made her any more thrilled at the prospect of running into him. She crossed over to bay window to get a daylight glimpse of the view outside.

The house had a bright green yard that looked soft and fertile. It was quite a large size, much larger than anything she was used to in the city she used to call home. It seemed to go on forever and eventually sloped off into the distance. The land beyond the house was lush and green. Thick coconut palm trees stood tall into the sky, and bright tropical flora dotted the landscape. Spattered amongst the trees and flowers were small red and brown rooftops. Each house was close enough to be neighborly, yet distant enough to offer a sense of privacy. The best part was the view of the ocean off in the distance. It wasn't just blue. It was a vivid cyan up close, a bright azure in the distance, and a deep cobalt that disappeared into the sky. The water seemed to be alive and dancing, reflecting the suns rays and shimmering with light. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The salty sea air carried with it the the fragrant scent of citrus trees in bloom, mixed with a hint of sweet vanilla. She was mesmerized. A tiny, bubbly giggle broke her out of her sweet reverie and Olivia found herself staring into the eyes of a beautiful little girl.

She looked to be about four or five years old. Her skin was the color of almonds and her hair was thick and dark. She was grinning and tightly clutching a piece of fruit, the juices running through her chubby little fingers and down her arm. Olivia was shocked by her appearance outside her window and stood for a moment just staring into her big brown eyes. A voice off in the distance called out something Olivia couldn't understand, and the little girl threw the fruit she was holding into the air and took off with a start. Olivia laughed out loud and moved closer to the window, straining to watch the child until she disappeared around the side of the the house.

Olivia's throat tightened and her pulse began to race. She sat down on the small bench at the base of the window to catch her breath. For some reason, that strange little girl made her think about her own little girl. At least Olivia imagined she was a girl. Had she lived, she would have been around the same age as the little one who appeared outside her window. Fitz had just been inaugurated into office and their romance was in the stage of being thrilling and all consuming. He had taken her to see the Constitution. She told him that she was in love with with him. That night they made love. Four weeks later Olivia found out she was expecting his child. It obviously wasn't planned, but she had always wanted a family of her own and decided to keep it. Fitz was over the moon about being a father again. He had made so many plans and promises about their life together. He even went so far as to give her a ring. He said he wanted to marry her and that the ring was a promise to her that they would raise their child together. It didn't matter that they couldn't be together in the present because the future was theirs. When when he slid that ring onto her index finger, Olivia was his. When she miscarried just two months later, they were devastated. Olivia had to suffer alone in silence because Fitz was busy. He had to be the President to a nation, a husband to his wife and a father to his children. They never really even took the time to talk about losing their child.

Olivia felt depressed, isolated, and filled with shame. She thought she was being punished for her adulterous affair with Fitz. She ultimately ended up resigning from her position in the Grant administration, leaving Fitz behind. In the years since, they still managed to find themselves fighting their desires. They would make up to break up, seemingly stuck in a dysfunctional loop. Through it all, Olivia never managed to get back to feeling the way she felt about their relationship when she was pregnant. After they lost their child it just wasn't the same between them. Regardless, she had never taken off his ring. So long as she wore it, she was still the President's girl. It was on her finger now. For the first time in almost four years, Olivia felt stifled by it. She walked over to her nightstand and opened the drawer, hesitating only a moment before removing the ring from her finger and placing it inside. She closed the drawer with a bang, making herself jump as the sound echoed through the room.

Olivia tilted her head and listened for a sign of her roommate's whereabouts. The whistling had stopped and now the house was eerily quiet. She couldn't hear a thing. There were no creaking boards, no cabinets opening and closing. The house sounded empty. The only sounds Olivia could hear were the sounds of the island: wind rustling through the palms, waves breaking against the shore. A musical score of exotic birds filled the air, their songs mixing into a stunning cacophony of island ambiance. She could even hear the giggles of her mystery girl somewhere off in the distance. But not a peep from Jake. As much as she hated the whistling, at least when she heard it she knew she wasn't alone. Now that the whistling was gone she feared that maybe he was too. While she didn't want to talk to him right now, she also didn't want to be left to her own devices.

Olivia padded across the floor and pulled the door open quietly. Jake's room was across the hall from her's and his door was open. She tip-toed lightly to his door and peeked her head inside. She was surprised to find it empty. She listened to hear if any noises were coming from the common areas of the house but the silence remained. She wondered where he could have gone off too and debated going to find him. In the end, her curiosity got the better of her and she used this moment alone to be a little nosy. With a final look up and down the hallway, she slipped quietly through his bedroom door.

His room was smaller than hers but just as nicely decorated. Off to one side of the room was his bed. It was neatly made with crisp white linens and lots of pillows. Off to the other side was a walk-in closet with clothes already hanging neatly from the hangers. In front of her was a large sliding glass door that opened onto a patio that led to a beautiful swimming pool and a sparkling view of the turquoise ocean waters in the distance. She crossed the room to the patio doors but was stopped by a framed photo on the small table beside the door.

It was an older photograph in a frame that looked to be handcrafted with care. The photo was of a much younger Jake with two other people, one who looked a lot like Peter. Both boys were smiling and had their arms around the girl who was standing between them. She was tall and slender. Her lithe body was bronzed and glowing in the island sun. Her long dark hair fell well past her shoulders in silky waves and framed her face like a perfectly symmetrical piece of classic art. Her bright smile was white and dazzling. It made her face shine with something Olivia couldn't quite name. It traveled up to her eyes and made her seem like she was glowing from within. _This must be Ana, _Olivia thought to herself. Peter and Ana were looking into the camera, but Jake only had eyes for the bronzed beauty standing next to him. He was looking at her and smiling and Olivia was momentarily hit with a wave of envy.

"Good morning, Olivia."

The sound of his voice startled her and she nearly dropped the picture she was holding. She spun around quickly, clutching the photograph to her chest. Her face flushed with embarrassment over being caught in his room. "Jake," she stammered, "Good morning. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

Jake crossed the room in a few easy strides. "Why is it that you're always snooping around in my pictures Ms. Pope?"

Olivia thought back to the time she visited Jake in his office and joked with him about the pictures he kept there. That was before he knew about her connection to Fitz, before he knew about her mother and father. It was before she knew about his involvement with B-613. Before James. It wasn't very hard for Olivia to recall a time when Jake was nothing more than an exciting possibility. Finding out that he was spying on her for Fitz was the first of many missteps he would take in their relationship together. "Do you really want to talk about inappropriate snooping Jake?"

Jake exhaled loudly and reached out to take the picture Olivia was clutching in her hands. "Olivia…" His tone was curt and dismissive, which bothered her. Whatever he was about to say was cut short when he saw the picture she had been holding. His eyes roamed the photo and lingered over the memory captured there.

"Is that Ana?"

"Where did you get this?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows and blinked several times. She wasn't expecting his harsh tone. "It was on the table in the corner. You didn't put it there?"

Jake brought his eyes back to hers and smiled slightly before answering, "No, Peter got the house ready for me. I haven't seen this photo in years." His tone more even and controlled, and whatever she had seen in his eyes moments ago was gone.

"So, is that Ana?"

Jake nodded and gave her an easy grin, "And Peter."

"You guys looked pretty young."

The grin on his face changed into an amused smirk, "What gave it away, my baby fat?" Olivia didn't answer him. All she could offer was a tiny, half smile of acknowledgement. Jake crossed to the nightstand by his bed and placed the photo into a drawer, making Olivia think about the ring she put away in a drawer of her own just moments before. He turned his attention back to her and closed the space between them, standing in front of her. "Yeah we were about seventeen or eighteen, I guess."

"She's pretty."

"Well she's no Yasmin, but I guess she's ok."

"You and that camel really had something special, huh?

Jake laughed, "I told you, she was a one in a million kinda girl Olivia."

Olivia smiled remembering that day in his office. "I woke up this morning and didn't hear anything in the house. I thought you left."

"I did."

"Where did you go."

"Out.

"Out where?"

"I had some business to take care of. "

"Business?" Olivia questioned. Jake nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. "What kind of business could you possibly have that you don't want to tell me about?"

Jake shrugged, "It's personal."

"Personal? Did you go to see Ana?"

Jake's eyes widened, "No, I didn't see Ana." His head tilted to the side and he narrowed his eyes, "Why would you ask me that?"

"Why are you being so defensive?"

Jake's eyes scanned her face. Olivia squirmed under his gaze and looked away. She was getting frustrated. Jake had this way of looking at her; like he was memorizing her features, or analyzing her expressions. It made her feel open and exposed, and terribly uncomfortable. She wanted to know more about this place that Jake called home and the people who came along with it. She wanted to ask him about Ana. He seemed like he didn't want to talk about it and his tight-lipped stance on the issue was making her even more curious. Her gut told her not to push. If Jake didn't want to confide in her, he didn't have to. It was probably better that they maintained some distance between them. He obviously had some sort of issue with his past and he didn't want to talk about it. Olivia made a note to bring it up again at a later time and turned her attention back to him with a tight lipped smile of her own.

"My room is very comfortable. I slept surprisingly well. You have a beautiful home Jake."

"Thank you, or mauruuru, as they say on the island."

Olivia's smile grew, "Mauruuru? Tahitian, I presume?

Jake tipped his head slightly, "Correct, as usual, Ms. Pope."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that... you're right. As usual." He squinted his eyes at her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, why?"

Jake raised his brows at her. "You seem tense."

Olivia cleared her throat. He was giving her those eyes again and she was having a hard time focusing. She exhaled and looked away from him toward the glass doors. "I tried to use my phone last night, there's no reception."

"I know. There isn't any reception on the island. Or wifi. And the mail is pretty slow."

Olivia turned her attention back to him, "I'm sorry?"

Jake smiled, "There's a phone down at the airport. It's about 15 minutes from here on foot. Or there's a bike in the shed."

"A bike? Jake," Olivia stepped towards him, "What if something happens? What if we need a doctor?"

"There's a clinic on the island, and the hospital in Tahiti is top notch. There is nothing to worry about."

"But there's no phone..." Olivia placed a hand on her stomach to calm the butterflies that started to flutter there, "What if someone needs to get in touch with us? What if I need to make a call?"

"Who do you need to call Olivia?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Jake's question caught her off guard. She honestly didn't know who she was going to call. Anyone at OPA was out of the question. She knew her Gladiators would follow her over a cliff, but she would never ask them to. Her mother and father haven't been on her emergency contact list since she became an adult and it was no longer mandated by the state. The man she loved had a wife and children who needed him. There was no one she needed to call. The person she called last time she needed someone was standing in front of her. The butterflies in her stomach took flight and moved into her throat, "No one," she sputtered, but even as she said it she knew it was a lie. It was Fitz. It was always Fitz. She could admit it to herself, but for some reason, she didn't want to admit it to Jake. "Never mind. I'm sure it's fine." Olivia crossed her arms and nodded her head slightly, ready to let the matter drop.

Jake took a step closer to her, "Olivia if there's someone you need-"

"I said I'm fine," Olivia barked.

Jake stopped and raised his hands to curb her attack. "Now who's getting defensive?"

"I'm not getting defensive. What makes you think I'm getting defensive?"

Jake raised an eyebrow in question, but Olivia gave him nothing in return. She knew she was being short with him, but she couldn't help it. He put her on edge. Jake wasn't one to shy away from sharing his opinion about her choices. She didn't want to have another conversation with him about the toxic nature of her relationship with Fitz. She was tired of talking about it and she was sure that he had to be as well. "I'm fine, Jake. Really."

Jake tilted his head. Olivia could see his jaw clench, and she knew that meant he was fighting the urge to push the issue. Finally, he nodded and exhaled, content to let the moment pass. "You said you always wanted to come here?"

Olivia released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Yes, it's been on my list."

"Your list?"

"My 'must see' list. When I was in school I made a list of places I wanted to see."

"Back when you were an Official Geography Olympiad?"

His eyes smiled with a mischievous glint, and she fought hard to suppress the tiny smile that threatened to chase away the dark cloud of doubt she was standing under. "Yes," she smirked, "as a matter of fact, that is when I made my 'must see' list. But I didn't add Tahiti to that list until..." Olivia shook her head and tried to rid herself of the memory that had suddenly popped up. She and Fitz were naked in bed together at Camp David. Mellie had decided to accompany him on his 'strategizing trip' and they were lamenting their lack of privacy by having sex while his wife slept in a room on the other side of the house. That night, he told her he wanted to take her away to a place where they could be alone. She suggested French Polynesia. It hurt that she was finally here and he wasn't here with her. The weight of his absence sat heavily on her chest and made it hard for her to breath.

She was tired of hurting over Fitz. She could feel the sting of his presence in every part of her. It used to feel good. She would lay in bed and think of him, her nude body tingling every place the air from the ceiling fan brushed across her skin. She had never felt more passion with anyone else. His fire consumed her. His love made her act in ways she couldn't believe and she felt completely out of control with him. She always carried guilt for sneaking around with Fitz, but she thought their love was the end that justified the means. Now it all just felt wrong. She had reached the point where her feelings for Fitz weren't enough. She wanted to be free. She wanted to stop looking for approval outside of herself. She didn't want to give in to her feelings for Fitz. She tried everything to lessen her attraction to him; she worked, she swam, she drank. As much as she tried, the only thing that ever made her forget about Fitz was Jake. He had figured out a way to get under her skin, and she didn't want him there. She certainly didn't want to fall into her feelings for Jake. She couldn't deny the way she felt about him. But even with all he felt for him, she had work to do, and was she was determined not to be distracted from her task by Jake's flirtatious nature. Olivia stiffened her back and changed the topic, "You were right about the window."

Jake's laugh was small, but victorious. It made Olivia narrow her gaze slightly. "I know I was. I'm surprised you told me."

"I wasn't going to, but you left those extra blankets for me, and I guess I felt a little appreciative."

"I imagine you caught quite a chill, sleeping in that." He crossed his arms and leaned his large frame against the dresser. Olivia could see her reflection in the mirror he was standing in front of. Her hair was still wrapped in the silk she slept in. She quickly pulled it off and threw it on the bed, running her fingers through her flattened hair to bring it to life a little. She shook her head and cleared her throat, giving her hair one last look before meeting his eyes.

Jake smirked as his honeyed gaze fell to the tips of her red toe nails and traveled slowly up her body, leaving a tingling sensation wherever his eyes touched. Olivia was suddenly very aware of how little she was wearing. The tiny cotton shorts and spaghetti strap tank top she wore to bed left very little to the imagination. She silently berated herself for deciding to leave her room without first grabbing her robe. When his eyes reached her breasts, she crossed her arms and cleared her throat sharply. His eyes darted to hers, "You look fine Olivia." His voice was deep and soft, causing chills to run down Olivia's spine.

"Stop it." Her tone was harsher than she'd intended and she could tell that he was surprised by the look on his face.

"Stop what?"

"Stop flirting with me."

His jaw clenched again before he spoke, "Excuse me?"

Olivia's hands went to her hips as she looked him in his eyes, "I said, stop flirting with me."

Jake's smile was sardonic, "What makes you think that I was flirting with you?"

"Are you saying you weren't flirting with me?"

"I want to know what you consider flirting."

Olivia exhaled, "Where were you this morning? "

"I had business."

Olivia scoffed, "What kind of business could you possibly have here Jake? We don't have a phone. You can't answer emails. There's no regular mail. What is going on Jake? Is B-613 behind us coming here? What's is this?"

Jake sighed and ran his hand over his face. "I told you, it was personal. What more do you want me to say?"

Olivia was once again speechless. "I don't know what I want you to say Jake. I just want you to be honest with me."

Jake groaned and took a step towards her. Olivia flinched and took a step away. He stopped and shook his head, "Really Olivia? What, are you afraid of me now?"

Olivia exhaled and closed her eyes. "No Jake, I'm not afraid of you. I'm just..." She crossed the room and stood in front of him, "I'm freaking out. I'm sorry."

Jake took her hand in his, "What are you freaking out about Olivia?"

Olivia's laugh was dry and humorless, "I'm freaking out about everything. Fitz, Ana, you," she looked down at their joined hands and pulled her hand away from his, "This...us" She looked into his eyes and gave him a sad smile. His lips turned down in an expression that mirrored her own. "I can't do this with you right now Jake."

"You kissed me Olivia."

"I'm not talking about the kiss, Jake. I'm talking about this island, this house." She tilted her head back to look at him. "What is this about Jake? Why did you bring me here? What does all of this mean?" Her eyes searched his face for an answer, but he gave her nothing. He made his way across the room to the sliding glass door and stepped outside, leaving her with no choice but to follow.

Jake was standing at the edge of the pool. His back to her and he was facing the view of the ocean. Olivia crossed through the doors, walked over to the pool and stood next to him. The tension between them was thick. As much as she wanted to speak to ease the tension, she couldn't bring herself to utter a word. She felt that Jake owed her an explanation, and she didn't want to have to beg him for one. She wouldn't do it. If they were going to exist together on this island for any extended period of time, they had to start talking to each other. Olivia crossed her arms, and waited for Jake to speak. After a few moments passed, Jake took a deep breath and began.

"You see that house?" He pointed in the direction of a little house with a brown roof. Olivia nodded, silently urging him to continue. That house belongs to the Kealoha family. They raised five kids in that house, and now they live there alone. And that one?" He pointed to a red roof farther out in the distance and again, Olivia nodded. "That house belongs to the Hoani's. For generations the women in that family have been acting as the midwives to all of the women in the village. Their home would give any of those fancy Birthing Centers in DC a run for their money. And that one?" The house he pointed to this time was much closer than the other two. So close in fact, that Olivia wondered if it was technically on Jake's property. This time Jake continued on without her urging. "That house belongs to Tane. He takes care of my house. His wife died about four years ago and he's been living there with his four year old daughter ever since."

Olivia thought about the almond skinned girl she saw outside her window this morning. "The mystery girl," she exclaimed. "I saw her this morning. She was outside my window one minute and gone the next. I'm sorry. That's awful. She's a lovely little girl. She sounds happy. "

Jake smiled, "She is. Her name is Purotu. I'm sorry, I should have told you."

"It's fine Jake. But you still haven't answered my questions." She turned her body towards him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why did you bring me here? What is this about?"

Jake sighed and kept his focus out on the turquoise ocean water. "About sixteen years ago a tropical cyclone swept through the islands. Many of the islands were fine, but Maupiti was hit pretty hard. Most if the infrastructure was destroyed; the airport, the town hall, and almost every home was completely devastated. The french government rebuilt the airport, and the electrical grid, but many of the people who lived here had no help. The was some relief, but not much. The government didn't want to rebuild. It was a lot like New Orleans post Katrina. No one seemed to want to put in the effort, it seemed pointless."

He turned to look at her, "Pete's father started his own rebuilding effort. He organized a way to get supplies and training for the people of the island to rebuild their village and reclaim their lives. It's been a slow process, but Maupiti has been steadily making it's way back. Thanks in large part to the efforts of Pete's father." Jake turned his head to take in the house behind him. His eyes swept from the top of the roof and all the way back down to the pool before turning back out to the ocean. "This house has been in my family for as long as I can remember. I grew up spending summers in this house. When the storm happened, I was just leaving the Naval Academy. I was on a ship, I had moved on. I didn't come home to help fix it. He rebuilt it anyway. It was the first house that was restored."

Jake swallowed and dropped his head. Olivia could tell that there was more to the story, so she waited until Jake was ready to speak again. "Aitu, Pete's father, did incredible work rebuilding this island. It took some time, but the island was restored and eventually started to grow. His work was so effective, they started to branch out to help families on other islands. Now, they run the largest non-profit organization in the Society Islands. When Pete called me and told me that his father was sick, I decided to come and help him with his rebuilding efforts. After your father was reinstated as Command, I felt like I could finally get away… and they're my family."

Olivia nodded. "And Ana?" She hated that asked the question but she had to know. Even though she knew that she wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with Jake right now, it was killing her think that he would have feelings for someone else. She knew she was being selfish and unreasonable, but she didn't care. She needed to know that there was nothing between them.

He lifted his head and turned his gaze on her. The sun danced in his eyes, making the green orbs sparkle, reflecting the amber flecks embedded within. "I didn't know she was going to be here. I haven't talked to her in almost twenty years."

"But there was something between you two?" Olivia questioned.

"We grew up together," he answered. "We were kids. How much could there have been between us?" His eyes roamed her face before he kicked off his flip-flops and sat at the edge of the pool to put his feet in the water. Olivia was surprised at how much the sight of him in such casual attire warmed her. She sat down next to him and placed her feet in the pool as well. The water was cool and she gasped at the shock of it. Jake smiled but didn't look at her. He nudged her knee gently with his before continuing. "When I found out you were leaving DC, I instantly thought of bringing you here with me. I'm here to help. You're here to help. I guess I thought you we could do some good, and maybe make up for some of the bad. A little…?"

"Jake." She said his name softly. Jake licked his lips, his pink tongue making his plump lips seem to glisten. Olivia was momentarily overcome with the urge to kiss him. Her eyes dropped to his lips. When she looked back into his eyes they were hooded with desire. He leaned towards her, tilting his head to the side. Olivia's eyes fluttered closed and she exhaled, her lips parting to receive his kiss. But before his lips made contact she stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. "I'm sorry. I can't do this with you. Not right now."

Jake backed away from her, instantly giving her space. As soon as he was gone,Olivia missed him. She wanted to call him back to her, but she knew that kissing Jake again would be a mistake. "Jake, about the kiss..."

"Olivia don't." Jake put his hand on her knee to stop her and quickly removed it. "We've already been through this, and I honestly don't think we need to have this conversation again. You are constantly telling me that you're in love with someone else, and you know what? I hear you." He gave her a wry laugh and ran his hand over his face with an exasperated sigh. "I hear you loud and clear. It's ok Liv, I get it. You don't have to worry about me trying to kiss you anymore. I promise. From here on out," he turned his head and looked into her eyes, "I am officially accepting my place in the friendzone."

Olivia searched his eyes for any sign that he was calling her bluff, but all she saw there was the truth. His resolution surprised her, and she silently chided herself for her ego. She hated to admit it, but there was a part of her that thought he'd always chase her. It hurt her pride a little that Jake was telling her that he was done. She found herself blinking back tears. The last thing she wanted was for Jake to see tears that she couldn't explain. So, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and put on her best Olivia Pope face. "I really need a friend right now Jake." She sighed, "I really need you."

Jake smiled and looked out towards the ocean. "Yeah, well… I think I could use a friend right now too. And I know that Peter needs you. He needs both of us. He's got a ton of work to do and no one to pawn it off on. We start working the day after tomorrow. What do you say?" He turned to her gave her a toothy grin and Olivia laughed her first real laugh since arriving on the island. It felt good to be laughing with him again. Their feelings for each other were so complicated. Most of their relationship had been surrounded in conflict. In spite of all their angst, she really enjoyed his presence in her life. As much as she pushed him away, she knew that Jake was here to stay. The thought warmed her, and she smiled to herself.

"I think that sounds like a plan Captain Ballard."

"Well good, because as much as I love this island, I was really looking forward to you being here with me. I don't think it would be the same without you." Jake stood up abruptly, pulling his legs out of the water with ease. A few drops of the cool water fell on Olivia's arm and she shivered with the chill it brought. "So," Jake reached down and offered her his hand, "Friends?"

Olivia nodded and placed her hand in his, "Friends." She allowed him to pull her to her feet, swaying slightly with the sudden movement. She placed her hand on his bicep for balance and had to resist the urge to let her hand linger. She moved her hand quickly, placing it awkwardly at her side. "I'm really looking forward to helping Pete with his rebuilding efforts. You're absolutely right, it'll be nice to do some good for a change. Although," she brushed her hands down the front of her shorts to straighten them, "I just realized that I may not have packed properly for manual labor."

Jake grinned, "You already looking for a reason to go shopping Olivia? I didn't take you for the type." He laughed and Olivia slapped at his chest playfully. Jake stepped out of her way before she could make contact and started walking back towards the house. He turned to look at her, still grinning. "We can take a trip into the city this week. I have to pick up some things as well. You should be able to find anything you need in Tahiti. It's going to be okay Olivia, I promise."

Olivia smiled and nodded her head slowly, "If you say so Jake."

"I do say so. And I mean it."

"I know you do. And that's why I'm here with you."

"What do you mean?"

Olivia shrugged, "I don't know. It's just that a lot of people have told me that I should move on. That I deserve better. But for some reason, I only seem to believe it when I hear it coming from you. I guess I needed that with me right now. Needed you."

A huge grin broke out on Jake's face and Olivia couldn't help but smile along with him. "Why Ms. Pope, that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"I think you might be right." She grimaced and hid her face behind her hands. "I'm sorry Jake."

"I tell you what," he closed the distance between them in a few easy strides. Jake removed Olivia's hands from her face and gave them a reassuring squeeze before dropping them at her side. "All will be forgiven if you name for me the capital of Paraguay, South-"

"Asuncion."

Jake looked down his nose at her and Olivia smirked. "You are such a nerd," He teased.

"Oh come one Jake, that was an easy one. I told you, first in the Varsity Division." Olivia began to dance around him in celebratory circles. "Do better, Ballard."

Jake shook his head and turned to look out towards the ocean view. Olivia, did the same, closing her eyes and tilting her head into the sun's warmth. A sigh of contentment passed through her lips and she couldn't help but smile. "The sun feels good, doesn't it?" She didn't bother to open her eyes, but she could feel the heat of Jake's eyes on her.

"Yes, it does."

When she opened her eyes again, Jake had turned his gaze back out to the view before them. Her eyes traveled over his profile before she looked away. She was happy that they agreed to be friends. Friends was good. Friends she could handle. She was even excited about the prospect of having a little work to do while she was on the island. This trip was turning out to be nothing like what she thought, but she was ok with that. Her smile grew and she tilted her head towards the sun once more. "Yes, it certainly does."

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading. I'm sorry for the delay. I got busy and let this get away from me. We will finally meet Ana in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this update. Please, let me know what you think. Love and hugs!**


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